It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time…

kyle told me that social distortion used to play 7 and 8 dollar shows in san diego when he lived there.  he’s seen them 20+ times.  i’ve never seen them play, except for when i watched Another State of Mind which is a social distortion/youth brigade movie with a little minor threat thrown in toward the end when the tour ends up near d.c.  anyway.

i took mona and haze on a walk yesterday, after i went running.  i figured i was already sweaty and nasty, might as well take ‘em out for some fresh air.  we were walking down roland st., which is the street em dub lives off of, and these two girls start walking toward us.  well, the dogs start to get excited and just as i’m saying “don’t worry, they’re friendly”, this little dog who was off a leash raced out of nowhere and started yapping and sprinting in circles around mona and haze and i.  oh.  my.  god.  haze is only ever aggressive when she’s on a leash, and she went BALLISTIC.  mona too, i swear… man.  so, my dogs are going absolutely crazy, these two girls (both were about eleven) are screaming at this little dog and trying to catch it, and the little dog is racing around and around us, barking and snapping.  haze had run through my legs and gave me a nice leash burn on the inside of my right thigh… that felt good.  it’s enough to make me never walk them again, even though all three of us know i’m going to walk them after my run today. 

ben and i are going to an engagement party tomorrow for people i’ve never  met.  i hope i find a cute little sundress tonight, something to wear there.   i’m debating about whether to go to target or forever 21.  ben is the best, btw.  for reals.  i’m also going to a treatment facilities committee meeting and getting j.r. to look at my car.  if it stays sunny, i’m going to try to lay out and get some sun.  lazy lazy day for miss emily.

that about covers yesterday and tomorrow.  present moment… i’m about to eat an orange and i’m thinking about my dad.  i really want to talk to him about catherine and ben jones and all these things.  about living with sarah and kyle, about staying sober for three years, about college and becoming a teacher, about car mechanics, about doggie doctors and obama being the president and iran’s election and all kinds of things.  i think he would’ve liked that i got into ACC basketball last year.  he would’ve been thrilled about the giants’ winning the superbowl in 08.  i’ve just been missing him so much right now.  myabe it’s a timing thing, since it was around this time last year that andy died.  well anyway.  here’s my dad, on his 67th birthday.

he never looked as old as he was until after he got sick.  anyway.

here’s a picture of me and andy -

i don’t know if andy and i would even be friends if he were still alive… i don’t know what he’d be like.  i don’t know if he’d have gotten sober again or if he’d be a strung out junkie or contracted hepatitus or AIDS or become a dealer or what.  i don’t know if we ever would’ve spoken again, or if we’d have become really close again… i like to think that he’d be really happy that dave is tattooing me.  i think he’d like the koi on my shoulder, and he’d be super stoked about the 13 on my neck.  no matter what, i know that at one point, we were best friends on this earth, and i feel like this picture really shows that.  i miss him, but it’s an odd kind of missing.  i don’t miss his illness or the pain he caused, i don’t miss being with him… but i miss knowing that he’s on this earth, because he got me through my dad’s death and i’d like to talk to him sometimes. 

well anyway, enough living in the past.  today is today for a reason, and whatever that is i might as well make the most of it.  i really hope that target has something cute and relatively cheap because i don’t wanna spend more the 40 bucks on clothes today.  i am a cheapskate.  sarah says so too.  :)