It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time…

Alright, I have a serious problem.  I have road rage.  Bad.  This morning, for example, someone was turning into a driveway too slow and I swore like a Deadwood character at them… and right afterward, I was stunned.  I’ve been trying to get better about my road rage, I’m praying in the car and listening to good tunes, yet I can’t help but feel slighted and indignant when a really shitty driver pulls out in front of me. 

The WORST was this cop, oh my God… if killing people for being lousy drivers was legal, this guy’s family would’ve wished they’d taken his keys.  I was in the right lane on a two lane road and he was on a side street waiting to make a left hand turn… dunny pulls out HALFWAY into my lane, and sits there!  No reverse, no nothing!  I slam on my brakes and that is when he decides to back up.  My pal Cat was in the car with me, and she cracked up laughing because I swore up down left right at this guy.  I believe I said, amidst all the f-bombs and madness, that he shouldn’t be allowed to effin drive or be an effin cop because he was too effin retarded to operate an effin vehicle… yes.  Cat looked at me and said “how is it that the most peaceful little hippie girl out of all our friends curses like that at bad drivers?!” 

I will tell you how, miss Cat – road rage.  I wikipedia’d road rage to see what they had to say, and I copy and pasted the common manifestations of road rage here:

• Generally aggressive driving, including sudden acceleration, braking, and close tailgating.
• Cutting others off in a lane, or deliberately preventing someone from merging.
• Sounding the vehicle’s horn or flashing lights excessively.
• Rude gestures (such as “the finger“).
• Shouting verbal abuse, obscenities, or threats.
• Intentionally causing a collision between vehicles.
• Exiting the car to attempt to start a confrontation, including striking someone else’s vehicle with an object.
• Threatening to use or using a firearm or other deadly weapon.
• Throwing projectiles from a moving vehicle with the intent of damaging other vehicles.

In the U.S., more than 300 cases of road rage annually have ended with serious injuries or even fatalities^{[citation needed]} – 1200 incidents per year, according to the AAA Foundation study, and rising yearly throughout the six years of the study that examined police records nationally.

The scary thing is that there are only three of those “manifestations” that I haven’t actively participated in… I’ve never intentionally gotten in a collision, I’ve never gotten out of my car, and I’ve never thrown anything at another car.  The deadly weapon thing is sorta 50% because Lord knows I’ve threatened people, but I don’t have a weapon, so…

But don’t be scurrred, cause I’m workin on it!  I have Thich Nhat Hanh meditations I chant, I do face yoga (smiling!), I breathe deeply, I don’t listen to aggressive music, I pray… so you know, progress not perfection.  And no weapons, please.  Don’t want to end up killin somebody over waiting in a turn lane, you feel me?