It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time…

So this is the honey badger, also known as the Ratel, also known as the most badass animal in all of Africa.  Probably the whole world, to be totally honest.  This animal is eating a scorpion, I don’t know how well you can see it since the picture’s small, but it is.  At the same time, this animal is fucking precious.  How is it possible, one might ask, to be eating a poisonous desert creature AND be fucking precious at the same time?  It’s the honey badger – anything is possible. 

I’ve decided that the honey badger is the Chuck Norris of the animal kingdom.  I’m not going to go into the whole anatomy, mating ritual, gestation period, blah blah blah.  Nope.  I’m just going to share some facts…

• it took almost an hour for a leopard to kill a half blind, nearly toothless elderly female honey badger.  AN HOUR.
• a honey badger was bitten by a puff adder (poisonous snake) and not only recovered from the paralysis, but came back to kill the snake and steal its prey
• honey badgers have been known to kill young antelopes.  the same little dude sitting there chomping a scorpion could be thrashing a young antelope in his next breath.
• honey badger kids roll around with their moms for 16-18 months so they can learn all the ins and outs of how to really dominate the African wild.
• honey badgers are smart as hell.  they can figure out how to use objects in the area as tools to reach what they need.

So I mean… if you ever get asked “hey, what’s your favorite animal?” and you have any other answer besides “honey badger!”, then you might want to get checked out for MR, as well as possible demons in your soul.  Just a heads up. 

I’m thinking that sea otters rival honey badgers in cuteness, but are exponentially less badass than the REAL king of the jungle… the honey badger.